Concerns about Construction near B450

So it has been brought to my attention the possibility of imminent death due to construction near B450 during pretty much all of our classes.  I'm talking the room shaking, drilling sounds emanating from the stairwell, and a constant whirring sound that becomes the only thing audible during important lectures.  While these events may be considered beneficial because of their 100% success rate in keeping people awake during lectures thanks to a hearty fear of death by construction if they sleep, the construction is still largely more disruptive than beneficial.  Because of the fear, I have created a solid plan to ensure survival should such a disastrous event occur during the construction.

1.  If the class is form and function, scout out a dentistry student, and securely have their body envelop you.  Dentistry students are, on average, 2X more protective and 3X more heat resistant than medical students.
2.  If the class is form and function, hide amongst a small grouping of dents.  Over 99% of the time, dent students will group together while in a class with meds.  All the talk of teeth while in the group may become quite boring to you, but rest assured that just like fluoride, dents will form a solid protective barrier should any of the construction head you way.

So of course, the optimal solution is to find a dent, this is obvious to you.  But, in not all cases are there dents at your disposal.  One may initially think to give the smaller, weaker students to the construction crew, in exchange for security and quiet during lectures, but this is only a temporary solution.  Here are a few other options:

3.  Karl.  Karl is strong, and his years of football workouts should not go to waste.  At least 3-4 people can cower behind Karl during a construction mishap.

4.  Druvtej.  Druvtej's organizational skills and general drive to get things done may save us all.  It is likely that during the construction mishap, Dru will have sent out an e-mail to all students on an appropriate exit strategy for the students, complete with the important stuff in bold, red letters.

5.  A table or chair.  This is clearly the least optimal solution, but will likely be the most ethical choice (perhaps the ONLY ethical choice).

So I hope this helps you, and reduces your anxiety about maim by health sci construction.

Have a good weekend and study hard,
Ali